Thursday, 18 November 2010

Pictureless

I am not really a big fan of how drab and un-colourful this blog is getting. I miss my camera :( I'll have to cart my Mac around with me and take lots of Photobooth photos. Maybe. I'm going to make up for the lack of pictures in this post for sure!

Anyway down to business. I found a funny article on Yahoo today by a guy called Dan Juan. I'm going to share it.


Posted By Dan Juan, Monday, 25 October 2010 11:11 BST
You may recall that last week my hair was dealt a crushing blow when the girl cutting it decided to ask me out for a drink, therefore ensuring I could never see her again due to the inevitable awkwardness. I was distraught because she was the best hairdresser I'd ever encountered. The moral of that story is, don't make a pass at one of your clients. Here are a few other people you shouldn't ask out…

Boss
Sleeping with a superior may seem like a great way to climb the professional ladder - and maybe it is sometimes - but it's a massive gamble. All the benefits you gain when it's going well will be reversed if it starts going badly. Eventually, one of you will have to leave: You. 

Employee
When you're in a position of power, you may become more attractive to younger, hotter subordinates who would normally be out of your league. But bonking them could see you lose respect as a team leader and it will also make the Christmas party awkward.

Fireman
It's natural to be attracted to these manly, heroic figures with their long hoses and vigorous pumping technique. However, they have a job to do. If you interrupt a fireman while he's working, someone's house could burn down and a cat may perish.

Milkman
It's said that these cart-driving dairy providers are prolific lovers, and maybe that's true, but it can't be a good idea to get involved with one. If it goes wrong, he will continue to turn up at your house every day. A frosty doorstep stand-off with your new lover would be inevitable. You would be forced to move.

Family members
Generally we don't fancy our close relatives but if it's a stunningly attractive third cousin twice removed who you've never met before, it might seem acceptable. It's not advisable though. People will talk.

Friends' family members
We all have a friend with a hot sibling. But unfortunately, our friends will not appreciate us pursuing them because they will find it weird. And you may also find it weird when you realise that your friend and his sibling share 60% of their facial features. As for your friends' hot parents, or even their hot offspring, that's always a bad idea. 

Married men
Several of the world's kindest and most handsome guys already have wives, which means you should not ask them out even if you think they're awesome. The main reason is that they will probably say no. But even if they yes, your actions could eventually leave his children scarred for life. Also, his wife may try to stab you with a fork.

Cliff Richard
It is tempting to ask out Cliff Richard because he seems nice and he's not officially in a relationship with anyone at the moment. But you shouldn't do it. For one, he's too old for you. Two, you might not be his type. And three, Sue Barker would stab you with a fork.

Coach drivers
You should not ask out the man driving the coach, however hunky he is, because it will divert his attention from the road and he could crash, leaving many dead. The same applies for bus drivers, pilots and men on bicycles.

Driving instructor

This is one of the sexiest of professions and the intimate nature of driving lessons, combined with the thrill of being bossed about by someone with years of experience, sends many ladies wild. But this desire should be resisted because if he says no, you will be forced to change instructors. This instability in your development could affect your driving ability in the long-term and people will make rude gestures to you on the road, which will upset you.
So, yeah I thought it was funny anyway.
Fallout: New Vegas was beaten last night, I think we might have picked the most un-epic ending though. There's a whole bunch of different endings. The one I would have liked best was the hijacking of the Vertibird and assassination of the NCR president one. I just sound like a total psycho nerd now because nobody knows what I am talking about. Fantastic. *thumbs up*
But, never fear, more PS3 junk is available for Tony to buy, which I'm sure must be hurting his bank balance quite a lot. Call of Duty: Black Ops was purchased yesterday. I tried 5 minutes of the zombie split screen with him and nearly wee'd in my pants because it's so scary. Needless to say my Habitat Fragmentation essay is seeming a lot more appealing right now. Although, I did do some secret squirrel work yesterday and preordered Assassins Creed: Brotherhood special edition online as an anniversary gift for Tony. It's our 19th anniversary on Saturday and the game comes out tomorrow so that's pretty exciting. The last two were very fun as well so I'm a little bit excited too :D Ezio is awfully charismatic.
Anyway, as I said I have a fragmentation essay to write, as well as a presentation on mangrove plantations to create and an A1 sized poster to match the presentation. Ah ballz, I think I also have to write a position paper for Psychology. Why, why, why are all of my deadlines in the next two weeks. This is so unfair. I really should go and get cracking on something. I've started them all, they just need some serious attention :( I've been having to actually keep a diary this year I've had so much to fit in. I never keep a diary, I always forget because I have to deadlines to write in it. I thought that was depressing but it's much worse when you have weeks and weeks on end where you keep turning the pages and seeing deadline after deadline. *wail*
Just mentioning time actually. It is going too fast. I would very much like it to slow down. There's like 3 and a half weeks until the christmas holiday and then about 3 weeks after that exams start. Slow down goddamit! Provisional exam timetable was released yesterday though, which is always nice. Means instead of worrying about a vague time in space when my exams will be, I actually have a fixed date to shoot evil glances at in my mind. Yay.
Tony has his driving test today. I'm giving him a big virtual hug and kiss for good luck. Hopefully it will help :) I know he will be fine!

OH HOLY FECK. I just remember. A Mahoooooosive H&M just opened in St Andrews. This is VERY exciting for me because of a few reasons:
a) stuff from H&M actually fits me (which is a miracle)
b) H&M is not expensive
c) the clothes actually suit me (which is also a minor miracle)
d) the extent of shopping in St Andrews is covered by NewLook, Superdry, Jack Wills, Shmooz and lots of expensive old lady clothes shops. Oh and Monsoon and Accesorize. That's it. No exaggerations here.
I'm still a little bit bitter at them though because I applied for a job there and they refused me :( And I desperately need a job. But whatever, I walked past the window last night while they were doing their final set up and some of the clothes in the window were fab-u-lous. ARGH. I can feel it burning a hole in my pocket already.

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