Monday, 5 August 2013

Prejudice

For the last year or so, on the first of every month, I'd write a post saying hello and letting you all know what I'd been up to, and what my plans were for the next month. When deadlines, exams and my dissertation took over my life, that all stopped - quite frankly, it would have been the most boring thing you'd ever read!! My recent poll confirmed my fears that you'd all been missing out on a little bit of the "me behind the scenes" and so I pledged to bring back my monthly updates - but I've decided I'm going to be doing them with a bit of a twist!

To reflect my current transition from undergrad psychology student to postgrad teaching student, I thought I'd take the beginning of each month to share my opinion on some relatively serious matters that have been relevant to me over the previous month. I imagine that when I get stuck into my course, I'll have a lot of teaching and classroom related issues to discuss with you all -  which I'm really excited about because I'm super passionate about it!
This month I'd like to talk about prejudice.
Ever since primary school I've suffered through a lot of prejudice, which has come in many different, but equally uncomfortable, forms - this month has certainly been no exception. Now, you may be wondering - 'how on Earth can you have suffered prejudice??' - and it's true I ask myself the same question, I am probably the most average person on the planet. Average height, weight, family, home, intelligence, car, hobbies etc etc. The list goes on! I believe myself to be perfectly ordinary

I've never been a particularly confident person around other people and because of this I've often been mistaken as intimidating or fake. In reality I'm just shy, reserved and self conscious until I'm sure that I'm going to be accepted. It seems that judgement is passed on first impressions when it comes to me and it's almost always negative.

In stark contrast, on the inside I am 100% confident with who I am as a person. I know who I am, I know what I stand for and I know what I believe in. I have incredibly strong convictions (to the point of being stubborn sometimes!) and I have very deep rooted morals. It took a lot of bullying and a long time to be sure, but now nothing that anyone says can lay doubt in my mind.
This month, I've unfortunately endured a lot of negative judgement passed my way from people who I was really hoping to have a long and flourishing relationship with. Disregarding the fact that most of the judgements made were based on assumptions and falsity, for the first time I've been able to hold my head high and tell myself that it's ok. Referring to me as a person of lower status and placing themselves on a pedestal has actually just shown them up to be truly ungraceful people. 

I was lucky to be brought up not to judge a book by it's cover and not to judge a person without getting to know them first. As far as I am concerned you can be penniless and I will treat you with the same respect as the Queen of England so long as you show me that respect in return. We're all human beings, no one is better than any one other. I'm curious about people and their lives, no matter who they are, or where they come from. I can't thank my parents enough for passing this valuable trait onto me and I hope that I can pass this onto the children I'll be teaching come September.
If anything, this month has taught me that prejudice can sometimes be a blessing, because it serves to solidify what you know about yourself and who it's worth having in your life.

How do you deal with prejudice? ♥
*Disclaimer: This blog post is not aimed at any particular person(s). It is about my general experience and opinion of those who pass judgement unfairly. It does not intend to offend or violate the rights of any individual(s).
xoxo
Follow me on Twitter
or on Bloglovin'
Like me on Facebook

Click to get your ad here

8 comments:

  1. great blog, i really like the layout! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. you speak real truth here! i get judged all the time and it's unfortunate. my husband also gets the same thing b/c he's shy. glad you are not letting the haters get to you. let their negativity bounce right back to them.

    love the blog!

    carmen

    ReplyDelete
  3. Loved this kind of hard hitting but more personal post! I do have to deal with prejudice in a way- at my jobs I'm usually one of very few females which can be really hard to deal with and more than once I have been assumed to have got a job purely for something to look at- which has never been the case. Also, now living in Malta I sometimes have to face prejudice for being British. I tend to stay firm but keep it light. I wont let people make me angry or lose my cool but I wont tolerate it either xx

    Visit The Other Side Of Cool

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello beautiful ! :) )

    First, I don't think you're a really ordinary person. I could not tell why exactly, but I hold for sure that you will go very far. Sincerely, and without any flattery. Your nearly obsessive committment to your blog, and your curiosity for everything (I don't think I'm wrong), reveal this to me. If you have no accident, if you don't make bullshit, or if you don't follow bad guys, I think your future will be brilliant. Really. I think you're a person who goes ahead, who works, and do things. And physically, you are not ordinary either, who put this into your mind ?

    Second, well... to judge is in human nature, and everyone judges, at least everyone has an opinion. You, me, he, she, everyone. To not have is to be indifferent, and it is pretty worse - in my opinion . I prefer someone who thinks, who makes choices, who decides, rather than someone who accepts everyone else, or everything, because "the world is made and turns like this, and c'est la vie as froggies say". I think to judge is a right. I don't say to condemn, you can judge with compassion, but to judge is natural.

    We can't please to everyone, and we can't appreciate everyone. And I would add that the first sight is often the right one. So we must be very careful about the first impression we give to someone else. And we must never forget the first impression we had when meeting a person. Sometimes, there's just a misunderstanding, and people could have matched in other circumstances. But sometimes, it does not match "naturally", and that's all ! ^^

    I don't really deal with prejudice for my own, but I try to pay attention to my own behaviour. We are social animals, and the idea people have about us finds partially its origin in our own behaviour. I get used to look pretentious for a lot of people, but I'm just enthousiastic. But some can see pretention in that. "Mister I know everything, The Professor". And maybe sometimes, I'm a little bit arrogant.... or provocative. But it's a national sport for us.

    I try to accept what other thinks about me with philosophy. I always try to put myself in the other's head to try to understand their point of view, but if our relation doesn't work, I let the things go, and I don't insist.

    A thing you must integrate too, and I speak by experience, is that... when you try to reach your dreams, and do something very interesting and passioning in your life, you think that your entourage and your friends will support you. It is normal, I mean, it would be normal. But in reality, and it is a personal observation, most of the people don't wish your success, because it could demonstrate that their own "normal" life is missed and quite boring.

    (To be continued :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. (Part II)

    They have a normal job, they have a house in suburb, they have two kids, they drive a break, and they have a labrador. A normal life that gives a regular salary, AND IT IS RIGHT AND VERY GOOD !!! but in general, they have given their dreams up. At a moment, you're obliged to give your dreams up when it does not work, and it is very frustrating, and sad, believe me. But when you start, you think that others will support you.

    In reality, if you reach your goals, you will proove them that they were wrong, and not brave enough. So in fact, most of your entourage don't really wish you to reach your goals. To say that is very provocative, but is is a reality ! Try to tell them you want to be an author, or a comedian, just try this. As a personal example, my business is been getting down for one and half a year now. And I'm obliged to look for a new job, at least as a complement. I have chosen to work in airports, and I'll follow a training course soon. Well, the same persons in my entourage, family, and friends, who have never believed in my artistic project, and that have even never asked me to show them what I drew, now are full of nice words for me, "oh, what a good idea, it could be good for you, I wish you succeeded, blah blah blah, blah blah blah". Because to work in airports is "brilliant" ! You are someone, you wear a uniform.... But to be a freelance artist is to be a loser, unless you succeed really, become famous, get interviewed in medias, and win millions ! Which has not been my story, so far. Now I give my dream up, and go back to the right track, I'm a good boy again... and I become an interesting person again. Because I give them the proof that they were right, and I was wrong. All is well that ends well........

    All that to tell you that, if you reach your dreams, you proove to the others that to reach one's dreams is possible, and that they have been kinds of cowards. Then, seeing your success, they become jealous. And I can be wrong, but I wonder if those people whom you know for a long time and who have caused you this prejudice are not a little bit jealous... regarding you have your diploma, you have no difficulty to find a boyfriend, you own a nice blog which becomes more and more famous, and a lot of people who read and appreciate you. At least virtually, but also for real. Prejudice often finds its origin in jealousy too. And in this case, the best to do is to take this prejudice into your hand, to transform it into a ball of paper, and to throw it over your shoulder. Or if you're committed to respect environment, to throw it into the first trash you find on your way.

    .......The fact is I am not the King of Synthesis, byt I definately should try to write smaller comments !!! (: o

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow, just came across your blog and this is pretty inspiring. You speak the truth so well, I'm sure you'll go far with teaching :) Great blog xx

    http://thestylechateau.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is a great post Rachael, and so true - I'm sorry that you've had to deal with people judging you, but like you say it says more about them than it does about you. I'm lucky that I've never been bothered about people's opinions of me, but I was also brought up not to judge people and I agree it's a really important trait.
    Good luck with your teaching, I hope you love it!!

    Jess xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love this post! Judging is a horrible thing, I try not to judge anyone because I know I get judged myself. People always think I'm intimidating and a bitch when they first meet me because I'm really outgoing and have a somewhat aggressive personality. Even one of my best friends said she used to be scared of me! Then people realise I'm a normal, compassionate and caring person and they feel bad. Nobody should judge someone, being judgemental is a terrible personality trait!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by! ♥